My vocabulary always proves insufficient when I have to describe the satisfaction the practice of law provides to my soul. As ironical as it sounds, the practice of law is an immensely humbling experience and very fulfiling on a spiritual level. Buddha’s emphasis on compassion as a source of developing a better understanding of how we are all inter-connected in the web of karma, can perhaps be best understood in the course of our profession when we put ourselves in the shoes of troubles and anxieties; victories and losses which our clients frequently experience. Yet I always caution myself to stay away from the victories and the losses lest I lose emphasis on the efforts and focus more on the outcomes.
Today a dear friend, a colleague and a client complimented me on what he called, was a intuitive mind which I possessed. I could explain that only in the context that since he and I subscribed to similar schools of thought, what I said incidentally as opposed to intentionally, mirrored and addressed accurately, what was running in his mind. I do my best to remain stoic to the good words that come my way. If I am capable of whatever I am today, it is not because I had enough compliments or encouragement coming my way. On the contrary an abundance of skepticism and harsh criticism was sent in my direction and phases of encouragement and approvals were few and far between earning the sources of the same, my eternal gratitude. Yet I opened my senses and dwelled more on what I could change about myself thanks to the skepticism and harsh criticisms; not because of the compliments. Make no mistake, I am grateful for the words of encouragement for they do really and I say so in all sincerity, mean a lot to me. I am just apprehensive of letting them get to my head.
I asked myself in the face of a rather difficult few days, what is it about myself that I feel proud of. I don’t seem to have an answer to that question. In fact if this very post is deemed good, then I regret to inform that as usual, it is someone else bigger than me using me as a medium to write. Yet for whatever reason, today I feel at peace. My memories in the course of the last few hours, involve tutoring a certain child at Naz foundation who progressed well with his spellings in the face of just 10 minutes of tutoring from me when someone else had tried for hours. The secret was not that I was an awesome teacher. I simply felt my duty was not to highlight and revel in his ignorance, but to bring him in touch with the awareness inside of his mind. I did not imbibe anything which he already did not have. The only thing I did right that day was not to make a big deal out of his mistakes and instead provide abundant encouragement in the face of progress. I was very moved when this boy pulled out the map of India to check the distance between Delhi and Bangalore, so he could visit me one day. I felt proud to have established that rapport with only a few minutes of interaction.
I also reminisced of the time spent travelling to the slums of Bhajanpura with a colleague absorbing his immense knowledge of the synergy between Hinduism, Sikhism and Islam. I also feel proud of my decision to undertake training in Krav Maga instead of being scared by threats and finally of my unrelenting awareness of just how small I am in the larger context of the world. Today I indulge my sense of being special simply because I feel I am not!